3..lbs...to...go..sort of.

My scale has been wanting a new battery for some time now.  It actually has two different ones, and I tried in vain replacing the cheaper of the two and it didn't help.  So after hearing me scream at the scale two mornings in a row, hubs decided to go and get the replacement battery for me.  Imagine my surprise when the following morning I step on and it flashes 168 !!!!  I didn't believe it, thinking something was obviously wrong with the new battery, the next day it reads 168.  That means that I am THREE pounds away from what I weighed at my first OB appointment last January and 13 pounds away from my lowest weight since probably 1998 (155).

I haven't been doing much differently.  The first two weeks in January I made it to the gym or worked out at home most days of the week.  Then I started to feel really run down and got about 1 day a week for the following two weeks.  Then I did a 5K in FREEZING weather, but it felt amazing and I did run probably half of it.  It was really muddy in sections and hilly so I decided to take walk breaks then.  After the race I was very pumped up and made myself a tailored training program for a 5K that I plan to do in April and did the first day of it.  Then, yeah I was feeling worse than before, blah, blah.  I have been eating a bit better or trying to.  So maybe it's starting to pay off.  My first goal was to reach my weight of my first OB appointment, since I had gained weight between starting to "try" and that first appointment.  Approximately 10 lbs, maybe a bit less.  Being only 3 lbs from that weight feels great, and hello my jeans are starting to fit better.  Whodathunkit?  Once I hit 165, my next goal is to hit that 155 mark again, hopefully by my 10 year anniversary in May.  Then maybe I can buy myself a snazzy outfit for dinner.  I mean, who wouldn't want to weigh less on their 10th anniversary then they did on their wedding day?  THAT would feel amazing.

No resolutions.

This year I decided NOT to include any weight loss or exercise goals in my resolutions.  Before getting pregnant, exercising 3-5 times a week had become part of my routine.  Even from 13 weeks to about 33 weeks it was still a part of my routine (until the pain from sciatica and Braxton Hicks got so bad I couldn't walk a full lap around the indoor track from the pain).  So, I refuse to make it a resolution to work out a certain amount of times or to lose a certain amount of weight.  The first Sunday of the new year had both me and hubs itching to exercise.  We both just really wanted to do something active and workout.  So last week I exercised 4 days.  A couple of days I made it to the gym and did walking and running intervals. Once I did the same around my neighborhood and another day I did a Zumba workout on the Wii.  This week, I've worked out 2 times already.  I feel amazing.  My mood is lighter, I have had more patience with a very grumpy 3 year old, and my body is already starting to change.  I'm so glad that baby girl has gotten to a place with her nursing that I can fit in a workout much more easily.  I still don't feel comfortable taking her to the gym sitter service.  I think I will probably wait until she is 6 months old to start trying to get back into my morning routine of working out.  It's killing me, because it is my favorite time to workout, but if she got really sick I'd never forgive myself.  I might start trying to get up at 5:30am or so and go to the gym before hubs goes to work, or maybe alternate days with him so he can go as well.

As far as my weight, it's still around 172 (best I can tell).  I haven't weighed myself without clothes in a couple of weeks.  Hubs says I'm gaining muscle but I'm sure the Hickory Farms cheese balls I ate last week had something to do with it.  Oh well.  I've found myself craving healthier foods to snack on the last week, so I will be making a big effort to stock up on healthy options. 

Zumba for Wii Initial Thoughts: Not bad.

Today I received the Zumba Fitness for the Wii and couldn't wait to give it a go.  I wanted something that I could do at home that would challenge me, be fun and actually burn some calories.  I think that I have found that in the Zumba Wii based on my first impressions.

Mind you, I only spent about 30 minutes total (including the 20 minute workout) messing with it, as I had a hungry infant downstairs and a 3 year old nearing his bedtime, so I'll have to look at it more closely next time.  But...it comes with a belt that you slip the remote into.  You create your profile and then if you decide to play right away you pick "Easy", "Medium" or "Hard/Difficult"(I can't remember which one).  Then you pick a routine to do and there are different levels of that as well, Beginner, Intermediate, etc.  I picked the lowest level on both counts.  I also started to do the Tutorial to "learn" the dance steps and then heard baby girl and decided to screw it and just jump in and try to figure out what the heck I was doing.  For the most part, I got it.  I'm sure it wasn't pretty to watch, but I was huffing and puffing.

Here are the things I really liked: 1) The "instructor" looks similar to the dancers in Just Dance, it's mainly a silhouette that changes colors.  2) Unlike other workout videos there isn't a lot of needless chatter that usually just pisses me off.  The chick says "Now you've got it" and other random encouragements, but not that often, just enough for you to actually be encouraged not annoyed 3) At the end it scored me 4) There's a workout calendar that shows you when you worked out, what routine you did, etc.

I wore my Polar HR monitor that I use when I'm trying to run  running and according to it I burned 300 calories in a 20 minutes workout.  Not bad.

Let's do this.

I recently received a $10 Amazon e-certificate and used it to purchase Zumba Fitness for the Wii.  I think that 1) I should be better at this than I am at The Shred, which leads me to 2) I won't get as frustrated and quit 3) I can do it at home (get up before the kids, during naptime, after Little Man's bedtime) 4) I have to do something.

My last true weigh-in had me at 173.  I'm SO close to breaking into the 160's I can taste it. Literally, it's in all those cookies I just ate, and the mounds of cream cheese that seems to be in everything that I've been making lately. 

But I can do this.  I'm ready to start working out, and after Christmas, if the flu isn't spreading like crazy, I'm heading back to the gym.  It's time.  And that 5K in January is not going to run itself.

Today I am thankful...

That the scale said 174.4 this morning...less than 10lbs from my first goal!

Ugh, blech, grunt

This morning while unloading the dishwasher my mind flashed to how long it had been since I had posted.  In all honesty it slipped my mind.  I've been very busy lately with trying to pile more things on my already overwhelming plate, and posting on blogs (that I'm pretty sure no one is reading) has slipped my mind.  I also have been very down on myself and depressed.  So much in fact that I broke down before my son's friend's birthday party because I could not find a top long enough to cover my sagging flab around my midsection.  I mean it was a literal breakdown.  In my closet.  I caught a glimpse of my face in the mirror mid-scream and it was so red I thought it might pop off.

Uh. I'm stuck at 177.  I am averaging about 2 days a week at the gym.  It's cold as Christmas outside, and hilly.  So outside exercise is a no-go.  I know that I could go to the gym in the mornings starting next week.  But there's that nagging thought in the back of my head that baby girl is only 2 1/2 months old.  She can't sit up, she isn't all that great and holding up her head.  And what if some little germy-germ kid makes her REALLY sick?!  I would never forgive myself for subjecting her to that just because Mommy feels Fat.

I need to eat more fruits and veggies.  Drink more water.  So, yes, there are things I could be doing.  I could do ab work at night while watching t.v.  Lift some weights while watching t.v.  I need to motivate myself to do those things.  When I'm unable to make it to the gym I become so depressed that I just push those things aside.  So I need to get organized and plan some exercise each day and just do it.  It's just that having to think everytime I get dressed, 'okay what will allow me to nurse in public while still covering my stomach' is annoying enough and when I don't have anything that would fit even if I weren't taking into account the whole nursing requirement, it's just enough to make me pull my hair out.  But I've purchased a few sweaters (thank God it's getting colder!) that button in the front and will allow me to wear a nursing cami underneath.  I also just purchased my new running shoes, which were my belated birthday present.  And this weekend I'm going to sign up for that 5K in January.  I can do this.  I just need a few minutes to sit down with my calendar and schedule myself some time to get my exercise in.  Besides helping with the weight, I'm pretty sure it will improve my drab mood.

One step forward, two steps back.

I am frustrated.  I knew this would happen, when I first took the extra weight off back in 2008 I became frustrated, but prepared myself for the weight loss to come slowly.  I had hoped against all that I knew that this time would be different.  Thinking that if I kept the sweets to a minimum, exercised and hello I'm breastfeeding, the weight would come off FASTER.  Notsomuch.  I'm annoyed that I can't seem to get in exercise 5 days a week.  I'm annoyed that I have to wear my fat jeans, the jeans that although they are comfortable, they look bad on me.

When I first set out to lose the weight that I had tried to lose for about 7 years, I made myself a promise that when I had lost 20 lbs (my goal was to lose 30lbs) I'd buy myself some new jeans.  I couldn't quite take wearing my old ones after I had hit 15 lbs so I gave in and bought a new pair.  They are both Lucky Jeans, one is a women's cut and the other (the newer) a men's.  BOTH say the same size waist, but fit differently.  I'm probably 5-7 lbs away from getting those reward jeans locked up.  Unfortunately no ponytail holder exists that will pull those bad boys closed so that I can get out of the baggy fat jeans.

What is even more frustrating is that I weighed myself (a couple of times) and I had gotten to 177 1/2.  I was SO EXCITED!  I thought there would be no way that I could not get to my first OB appt weight by Thanksgiving or the first week of December.  Then I weigh myself the last two days and it says 178 .8.  I try to tell myself that my breasts have been more full of milk those days, adding to the higher number, but is that true?  I don't know.  I know I should focus on how my body looks, how my body feels and not the Number On the Scale.  But I cannot help it!  I want the Number On the Scale that I long for!!!  Okay, 2 more days this week that I'll be able to get workouts at the gym.  Fingers crossed.