3..lbs...to...go..sort of.

My scale has been wanting a new battery for some time now.  It actually has two different ones, and I tried in vain replacing the cheaper of the two and it didn't help.  So after hearing me scream at the scale two mornings in a row, hubs decided to go and get the replacement battery for me.  Imagine my surprise when the following morning I step on and it flashes 168 !!!!  I didn't believe it, thinking something was obviously wrong with the new battery, the next day it reads 168.  That means that I am THREE pounds away from what I weighed at my first OB appointment last January and 13 pounds away from my lowest weight since probably 1998 (155).

I haven't been doing much differently.  The first two weeks in January I made it to the gym or worked out at home most days of the week.  Then I started to feel really run down and got about 1 day a week for the following two weeks.  Then I did a 5K in FREEZING weather, but it felt amazing and I did run probably half of it.  It was really muddy in sections and hilly so I decided to take walk breaks then.  After the race I was very pumped up and made myself a tailored training program for a 5K that I plan to do in April and did the first day of it.  Then, yeah I was feeling worse than before, blah, blah.  I have been eating a bit better or trying to.  So maybe it's starting to pay off.  My first goal was to reach my weight of my first OB appointment, since I had gained weight between starting to "try" and that first appointment.  Approximately 10 lbs, maybe a bit less.  Being only 3 lbs from that weight feels great, and hello my jeans are starting to fit better.  Whodathunkit?  Once I hit 165, my next goal is to hit that 155 mark again, hopefully by my 10 year anniversary in May.  Then maybe I can buy myself a snazzy outfit for dinner.  I mean, who wouldn't want to weigh less on their 10th anniversary then they did on their wedding day?  THAT would feel amazing.

Ugh, blech, grunt

This morning while unloading the dishwasher my mind flashed to how long it had been since I had posted.  In all honesty it slipped my mind.  I've been very busy lately with trying to pile more things on my already overwhelming plate, and posting on blogs (that I'm pretty sure no one is reading) has slipped my mind.  I also have been very down on myself and depressed.  So much in fact that I broke down before my son's friend's birthday party because I could not find a top long enough to cover my sagging flab around my midsection.  I mean it was a literal breakdown.  In my closet.  I caught a glimpse of my face in the mirror mid-scream and it was so red I thought it might pop off.

Uh. I'm stuck at 177.  I am averaging about 2 days a week at the gym.  It's cold as Christmas outside, and hilly.  So outside exercise is a no-go.  I know that I could go to the gym in the mornings starting next week.  But there's that nagging thought in the back of my head that baby girl is only 2 1/2 months old.  She can't sit up, she isn't all that great and holding up her head.  And what if some little germy-germ kid makes her REALLY sick?!  I would never forgive myself for subjecting her to that just because Mommy feels Fat.

I need to eat more fruits and veggies.  Drink more water.  So, yes, there are things I could be doing.  I could do ab work at night while watching t.v.  Lift some weights while watching t.v.  I need to motivate myself to do those things.  When I'm unable to make it to the gym I become so depressed that I just push those things aside.  So I need to get organized and plan some exercise each day and just do it.  It's just that having to think everytime I get dressed, 'okay what will allow me to nurse in public while still covering my stomach' is annoying enough and when I don't have anything that would fit even if I weren't taking into account the whole nursing requirement, it's just enough to make me pull my hair out.  But I've purchased a few sweaters (thank God it's getting colder!) that button in the front and will allow me to wear a nursing cami underneath.  I also just purchased my new running shoes, which were my belated birthday present.  And this weekend I'm going to sign up for that 5K in January.  I can do this.  I just need a few minutes to sit down with my calendar and schedule myself some time to get my exercise in.  Besides helping with the weight, I'm pretty sure it will improve my drab mood.

One workout week

This week has been a bust.  I have been battling a cold virus since Sunday so yesterday was the only day I did anything.  I did make it to the gym and I did walking/running intervals for 30 minutes around the indoor track.  I felt GREAT afterward.  Today it just didn't work out for me to get there after the hubs got home from work, especially since it was after 5 when he got in the door.  But I am down almost 2 lbs since last week, although other than being too nauseated to eat from being sick and nursing a baby around the clock (growth spurt?) I'm guessing any weight loss is mostly from that.

I did come up with a new "plan" for working out.  Keep in mind this is best case scenario.  I want to go to the gym 5 days a week.  The hubs will call me when he is a certain distance from the house so I can pump milk for the baby and change into my workout gear. Then I'll head to the gym and do a 30 minute workout (I plan and want to do a longer workout but until I can go during the day I'll stick with 30 minutes).  I'm going to do walking/running intervals until I can run the entire 30 minutes 3 days a week, the other 2 I will do the elliptical or some other cardio.  I'm also going to start doing my old ab routine at home 3 days per week and strength training 2 days per week.  I have picked out a 5K for January 22nd, so I really, really want to be able to run the entire thing.  I know some people would laugh at this but I've never been able to do anything physical and since I'm starting from square 1 with running, giving myself until January is pretty ambitious.  I KNOW if I can mostly stick to this routine the weight will come off.  I know that my body will begin to feel strong again, my energy will come back, I will be more patient and my stress will lessen.  Once the baby is big enough that I feel comfortable putting her in the sitter service, I'll keep the same workout schedule but instead will get back to my 8am workouts so that I'm not disrupting our afternoon routine with my workouts.

Excuses, excuses

I have so many excuses for not exercising for a few days, and those excuses led me to eat more ice cream than I probably should have.  I only did the Shred for 2 days last week.  I had planned to get up and go for a walk/run Saturday morning before we got started with our day.  However, Friday night our dog came in and her ear was ripped in two and she was covered in dried blood.  My Saturday morning was then occupied with both kids while the hubs took our dog to the vet to get her ear cleaned and stitched up.  Hubs said, "When we get back from Disney on Ice you can go for a walk after dinner, I'll watch the kids".  So what happens at Disney on Ice?  During the last 20 minutes hubs is holding a very tired almost-3-year-old when he stretches and scratches hubs in the eye.  Saturday night was spent with me doing everything (much like Sunday) while hubs laid on the couch with his eyes closed, moaning in agony. 

Monday I got back to it.  As soon as hubs got home, I changed and took off in the neighborhood with my Ipod.  I walked (with a few running intervals) for 30 minutes through my hilly neighborhood.  I think my heart rate monitor tried to call 911 a few times, but I arrived at home safely.  I thought I might pass out (who knew I was this out of shape?) but after a shower I felt great.  The next morning, I felt even better.  I could feel the soreness in my legs, man I missed that feeling.  So the next night, I did it again.  Went out the door as soon as he got home for my 30 minutes of exercise.

I've picked out a 5K to run in January.  I'm not an athletic person and it took me a few months once I started running to be able to run 3 miles.  I know it's sad, but I know my body and it takes a s-l-o-w progression.  It was a great feeling of accomplishment when I finished my first race and it kept me sticking to my exercise and running.  After 2 days of getting in my cardio and doing a little running...I can feel the addiction coming back.  Immediately when I woke up I felt that gnawing feeling "got to go run, got to go run".  I look forward to the day when 8am finds me at the gym handing over the kids for an hour so I can really focus on exercise, but for now I'll talk my 30 minutes at the end of the day. As for the weight loss, I'm really trying not to weigh myself until Friday morning, first thing, with no clothes.  But it's hard not to!